The Tim and Jenny Lockie Blog

Fwd: [sojo-all] Rebuild Sudan needs your help!! Please forward this to your friends...

2010-08-26T20:43:00.001-07:00

Michael Kuany is a "Lost Boy" of Sudan who lived in our church community for a couple of years until he left to get his Master's degree in Conflict Transformation. He's a really good guy and is doing good work in and for Sudan. We've supported him in varies ways over the years, so now I'm trying to help out a little by getting this information out. You can be confident that any money you give will be used well. (Tessa is also a good friend of ours.)

Thanks,

Jenny Lockie

Begin forwarded message:

From: Tessa Richardson <tessajanerich@gmail.com>

Subject: [sojo-all] Rebuild Sudan needs your help!! Please forward this to your friends...

Dear Friend,
In 2007, I helped Michael Kuany found Rebuild Sudan and I remain committed today. I saw firsthand both the devastating effects of the civil war in the south, as well as the southern Sudanese children's incredible motivation and desire to go to school--such as I've never seen before. I experienced teenagers coming up to me begging me to help them attend schools in neighboring countries as well as young children asking me to teach them the alphabet.
Living in the United States, where education is taken for granted, and often grumbled about by young students, I was struck by the realization that for many of the Sudanese youth, going to school would be a dream come true, "an honor," as well as a way out of crushing poverty. For a country that has been wracked with violence for decades, education is both a way to heal and a path towards restoration.
Rebuild Sudan's inaugural project is a much-needed school in Jalle, a remote part of Southern Sudan, where the challenges to building are unique and many (see attached FAQ). After years of fund-raising, we are scheduled to begin construction on the school by the end of 2010.
We have the ambitious goal of raising $200,000 by November 1^st in order to begin construction this year. I know I've asked you to give before, but let me tell you why it is important to give now! This timeline is critical to support returning refugees and promote continuing peace and stability throughout the region. Please join me in making this school a reality by donating to Rebuild Sudan. Your gift of $50, $100, $500, or more will make a significant impact on the lives of children and families recovering from 21 years of war.
For more information, check out our website: www.rebuildsudan.org. I hope you can help!

Sincerely,
Tessa
Rebuild Sudan
Board Member

p.s. Rebuild Sudan is a 501(3)c non-profit organization. Your gift is tax deductible to the full extent of the law. Checks can be made out to Rebuild Sudan and mailed to 2820 22^nd St. San Francisco, CA 94110, or you can donate online at www.rebuildsudan.org.

p.p.s. Please forward this to any friends or family you think would be interested in partnering with us!

Mommy, why do they call them orphan cookies?

2009-08-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

Home!

2009-05-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

I flew in last night at 10:30 after a looong day of flying and am glad
to be home. It was a really good visit, lots to think about, lots to
pray about, great memories, and experiences. This picture is from one of our meetings with new teams in InnerCHANGE which shows leaders from Africa, Asia, London, and Guatemala. It was very exciting for our team as we've been working on this sort of leadership cohort for the past several years.

A few photos are shared here

As Jenny and I process through the decision, we'll share more of our
thoughts about moving.

Tim in Caracas

2009-04-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

I've been in Caracas for the past few days and am about to head to a Monastery with all the leaders in InnerCHANGE for a week. My time in Caracas has been very good. The first two days I got to experience ministry with the team, play music, visit some families, learn some greetings. Last night was a party to welcome all the InnerCHANGE leaders and several venezuelan families came over. The people here are always ready for a party, laughter, singing and dancing. In other places I've visited, like Cambodia, it has been important to be pretty buttoned up in terms of volume and personality. But here, the louder and more outgoing the better.

Last night I also saw a man being chased by another man who was yelling at him and waving a knife. There is a constant awareness of the presence of violence here. Most families have sons who have died, and sons who have killed. Mostly the violence is related to robbery or vengence, but it's also unpredictable leaving people unsettled. All of the older timers on the team have been heldup at gunpoint.

We visited a family that Jenny had seen when she was here, their lives are hard. They live in a makeshift house and have many children. We visited yesterday because it was the littlest girls birthday. She is turning 3 and was sick, sweating from a fever, and very cautious with anyone who wasn't her father. Birgit, the teamleader here, has faithfully celebrated each childs birthday for years, so Jenny and I both visted the family for a birthday celebration. The poverty of this family is grinding, but their community group is working to move them to a new house. Each neighborhood is divided into small neighborhood groups that make some decisions about resources and programs in thier neighborhood.

I return to San Francsico next thursday, and am looking forward to being back with my family. Jenny's birthday is Sunday the 26th, so pop her an email if you remember: jenandal@mac.com

Here and doing well

2009-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

After a long trip with American Airlines (which needs it's own blog post) I'm here. Yesterday I went with Cameron and John to visit a family and we stopped to play music with some friends of friends. The culture here is very warm and enviting, wave at everyone, smile always, greet with enthusiasm. After spending so much time on Salesforce Development for the past few months, it has been so refreshing to not be on my computer but to be out and about.

Momma, in real life I don't like the pizza.

2009-04-12T18:34:00.001-07:00

Said to jenny at dinner: "Momma, in real life I don't like the pizza".

Jenny's Venezuela trip update (2 months late)

2009-04-07T14:09:00.001-07:00

I just read over my entry that I wrote while I was in Venezuela, and I
really didn't get far on it. This much later it's hard to remember
exactly what I thought of everything, but the basic impression I came
away with was that it would be very difficult to live there. I don't
know if I'm starting to romanticize it, but somehow I still feel like
I want to continue pursuing the idea. It would require a lot of major
adjustments to live there (things like boiling water to wash dishes
and takes baths, making a 30 minute outing to get mail, having to get
all of our groceries to the house by public transportation, planning
high water usage things around when the city is pumping in the water,
etc), but I've talked to a couple of people since being in Venezuela
who've helped me to realize that taking 6 months to adjust to a new
culture, language, and way of life is actually very common for
missionaries, and not something to feel guilty about. Probably the
scarier thing, though, is the level of violence. I didn't witness any
violence while I was there, but if we moved there, it would only be a
matter of time.

I think the biggest thing that helped me feel like moving our family
to Venezuela could actually be do-able was Tim's idea that we could
home school the kids for the first 6 months we're there. If we go,
we'd most likely go in the middle of the 2010-2011 school year, and
we'd go on tourist visas. The thought of having to rush down there to
get the kids in school before they give away their spots was really
overwhelming, plus the fact that they might not even be able to get
into school as tourists (even the private schools are partially
government funded). With the idea of home schooling, it takes off the
pressure to rush down, so we can go when we're ready, and we have
until the following school year to sort out visas and school
enrollment. I was also really worried about how our kids would do
with the schools there, but the idea of giving them a semester or so
of home school while they get used to the culture and the neighborhood
and then put them into school seems much more manageable for them (In
other words, I don't feel like I'd be being such a cruel mom.) During
that semester we could also find local tutors who could help ease them
into the culture of the schools there and get them ready to start
school there. (ie They could do things like teaching them standard
penmanship which is very important there. Even high school students
get penmanship homework.)

One thing that the InnerChange team does in Venezuela is what they
call "tarea dirigida" which is a time when they help neighborhood kids
with homework. They also read them stories and sing songs. Every
Tuesday and Thursday afternoon kids show up with their homework. Some
go because they need the help with their homework. Some go because
it's the only place they have books read to them. Others go because
it's a safe place for them to be, unlike their homes. That time was
something that seemed right up my alley. I had lots of ideas of
things I could do during that time. It would also be a great way for
our kids to meet neighborhood kids. (Kids didn't seem to hang out in
the streets much, so we'd have to figure out ways for Alexina and John
David to make friends.) My favorite quote from my trip happened
during that time. I was reading a book to a couple of girls. In the
book a sunflower grows, and the book calls it magic. I asked them if
they thought it was magic. They weren't sure what to think, so I
asked them who they think makes flowers grow. They still seemed
confused, so I asked them who created flowers, and trees, and animals
and me and you. They thought and looked at each other and thought
some more. Then, suddenly one of them figured it out. She lit up and
said, "Simon Bolivar!?"

The thing that touched me the most on my trip was my visit to the
family whose son is in the hospital (from the prayer request I posted
yesterday). They're a family of, I believe, 10 (8 kids and 2 parents)
living in extreme poverty. Their house was only barely a house, it
has a wall on each side because it's between two other houses, and
they have some pieces of wood and corrugated metal patched together to
make a front wall and roof. There wasn't really a back wall to the
kitchen - you basically walked outside to get to the sleeping area
which I didn't go into. I found out later that the mother, Marlene,
struggles with mental illness, so this isn't always the case, but when
I went, she was very welcoming and cleared off barrels and benches so
that we could all have a place to sit (while we enjoyed the birthday
cake for the oldest son - Birgit had made it, knowing that the family
would have forgotten the boy's birthday.) John, Birgit's husband, had
brought his guitar, so we sang songs led by John's guitar and Manuel's
(the father's) voice as he cradled and kissed his new born baby girl.
After we left Birgit commented that they may be lacking a lot of
things in their house, but one thing that's not lacking is love. That
was clear even from watching them just for a few minutes.

The last 3 months and the next two (by Jenny)

2009-04-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

I apologize for taking so long to finish writing about my Venezuela trip. I don't mean this as a pity party or as an excuse, (Well, maybe I do kind of mean it as an excuse!), but I think a brief over-view of the last 3 months might be helpful to catch you all up on what's been going on in our lives, and why it's been so difficult for me to get time to write.

January 2nd - Alexina was diagnosed with bronchitis while we were in Montana
January 5th - we got stuck in Denver for a day when our flight to SF was canceled
Rest of January - Alexina was in and out of school since she couldn't quite get over her cough after having bronchitis I was working on filling out both the InnerChange application and the school district application to be a sub, both of which are very involved.
February 7-15th - I was in Venezuela - Tim was home with the kids - Alexina was home all week with stomach flu.
February 17th - Alexina's teacher was put on bed rest in the hospital at 28 weeks of pregnancy. (40 weeks is full term. She was in the hospital until the baby was born at 32.5 weeks. He's doing fine, but she's out for the rest of the year.) By coincidence??? I was getting my fingerprints done to work as a sub in the same hour she was getting rushed to the hospital.
February 19th - Alexina's 7th birthday party sleep-over Anne of Green Gables bash. (Yes, we did it on a school night - they stayed home the next day - we didn't have an open week-end night for a month and she really wanted a sleep over.)

February 24th - my fingerprints cleared and after many hours of phone calls, I got my pin number so I could start subbing in Alexina's class to replace the semi-competent non Spanish speaking sub they'd been having. I subbed 12 of the next 20 school days in Alexina's class while juggling my Tuesday literacy class I've been teaching for years and John David's half-day pre-school schedule.

February 26th - took JD in for a check-up and shots, but they couldn't give them to him because he had a fever.

March 23rd - I took JD to urgent care with an eye infection.

March 25th-29th - We had a wonderful vacation in Napa with the Rundle family (a family from the InnerChange LA team). While we were there, Alexina and the Rundle's daughter Zoe both had terrible allergies, which for Alexina means a cough.

March 31st - Alexina's cough didn't get any better when we got home, and it was joined by a fever, so I took her to urgent care where they diagnosed her with pneumonia. Her fever's been up and down all week, but finally seems to be gone. Now she just has the cough which they say could last 3-4 weeks!

April 6th-10th It's Spring break this week! Which is wonderful, but between our Napa trip, Alexina's pneumonia, and Spring break, I'll have had 2 1/2 weeks with out almost any kid-free time. Today Tim's taking the day off work to give me a break.

April 15th - We found someone for me to job share with, so starting the 15th, I'll be teaching Alexina's class every morning and another teacher will be doing the afternoons. We'll do that for the last 8 weeks of the school year, finishing June 9th.

Ok, enough of the pity party! The wonderful thing is that we have so much help from our church that I've been able to keep subbing and stay sane through most of these illnesses, and none of them have been serious. It's worked out really well to be able to work half days for the end of the school year, and a woman in our church will be taking over my literacy class. Also, my mother-in-law will be coming down for a week and 1/2 to help with the kids while I'm working and Tim's gone to Venezuela. (He'll be in Venezuela April 18th - 30th.)

prayer request

2009-04-06T14:12:00.001-07:00

I just found out that the 10 year old son of a family I met in Caracas
is in the hospital. They were by far the poorest family I met there,
and they were also the family that "tugged at my heart strings" (to
use a cheesy phrase) more than anything else there. They were the
family that made me feel like it could make sense for us to move
there. Anyway, they have about 8 kids. The youngest is 3 months old,
and the second oldest, named Francisco, is the 10 year old in the
hospital. They're not sure what's wrong yet, but Birgit, the
InnerChange team leader, suspects that it's advanced pancreatic
cancer. Please pray for Francisco and his parents Manuel and Marlene
and the rest of the kids. Also pray for Birgit who has been watching
the rest of the kids (except for the 3 month old) so that the mom can
be at the hospital and the dad can go to work.

Thanks,

Jenny

Chocolate!

2009-02-15T19:18:00.001-08:00

"hey, john David, I thought you didn't like chocolate!"

"yeah I do!"

"when did you start liking it?"

"tomorrow."

Day 6 in Venezuela

2009-02-13T06:47:00.001-08:00

It's now the morning of my 6th day in Caracas, Venezuela. The first 4 days were very eventful, but then yesterday was pretty layed back.

We got here in the late afernoon on Sunday, and got to the place we're staying just in time to eat dinner and head out to a wake. This particular wake wasn't from a violent death. (He was an 18 year old kid named Alexander - a very common name here- who had a degenerative disease.) The wake last night (which Hannah and I didn't go to) was from a violent death, but I guess he was a guy who was involved in some pretty shady stuff, so no one was too surprised. Going to wakes and burials seems to be a big part of what the team here does. I think the apprentices who've been here a year and a half have been to about 10.

Monday Birgit Shorack (the wife of the couple who are the team leaders) took Hannah and me around to see a couple of school options for Alexina and John David in the morning. That was an interesting experience. School would definitely be a huge adjustement, starting with the fact that almost all schools start at 7 am and end at noon. The school I actually liked best is from 6:45-11:30! The kids would certainly have good penmanship after a couple of years here and would be able to write down dictations flawlessly, not to mention the Spanish and Venezuelan culture they would be learning. Luckily they're already very creative and imaginative, but if I wanted them to keep up those skills it would be something I would have to do with them at home, (but we'd have all afternoon to do it!) Here's a quote from a profile of what a first grader needs to be learning in order to pass to second grade (translated, of course) "I am creative and will practice until I can color with out going out of the lines and in one direction." The 15 year old daughter of the Shoracks, who's lived her for 7 years, says that she's never written an essay out of her head, she only copies things. Anyway, it's a very different system and I think it has some good aspects to it which could complement what's lacking in the US system, but mostly it's given me lots of ideas for trying to do art classes and creative writing classes with kids here. (Neither of which are my forte, but I'm sure Zoe could give me some ideas in creative writing!)

After doing the school tours we spent two hours travelling by public transportation to the cemetary for Alexander's burial. Luckily we were able to catch a ride back with neighbors, because as it was, we were all completely exhausted by the time we made it back. (Even though we got a ride, it took 1 1/2 hours to get back because of traffic and we had 8 of us crammed in to a vehicle designed for 5!) Transportation would be another thing that would take a lot of getting used to. Without traffic it's a 10-15 minute jeep ride to get down the hillside to where the market and metro station, and the school I liked best are, but that's once you're on a jeep. Sometimes jeeps can take a while to come and sometimes they're full. To catch the jeep to come up you have to wait in line to get into a jeep, and they stop running by 9pm. They also could stop running for any other reason, like if the the jeep driver wants to take a nap or eat lunch. We walked up the hillside one time and it was an exhausting, sweaty, 45 minute walk. (and that was without kids! Actually I wouldn't do it with kids because there's no sidewalks, so it's prett dangerous.) If you want to go to a park or the zoo, or a movie theatre or the beach or anyplace like that it's a 45 minute - 2 hour expedition each way (depending where you're going) and you have to plan very carefully to avoid rush hour or you can double the travel time.

It's time for me to go join a team meeting, so I'll try to finish this another time.

I leave for Venezuela this Saturday night

2009-02-03T17:00:00.000-08:00

This Saturday night Hannah (our housemate) and I (Jenny) head to
Venezuela on the red-eye. We'll be there for a week. Tim will be
staying home with the kids. That'll be a new experience for all of
us. He and I have gone on trips together without the kids, and he's
travelled a lot with me and the kids, but we've never done it this way
before. It's nice not to have to worry about an elaborate babysitting
plan AND not to have to worry about packing for the kids.

The main goal of the trip is for me to check things out there and see
if it really seems like it could be a fit for our family. We won't be
trying to make any decisions from this trip. If it seems like it
really wouldn't work for our family, we could decide to drop the
question after this trip, but assuming we're still interested, we'll
have quite a few more steps before we make a final decision. Another
big step will be that Tim will go in late April, and then there will
be lots of prayer and discussions between Sojourners, InnerCHANGE and
us. I'm hoping to decide by the end of the summer, but we'll see . . .

You can be praying for Hannah and me on this trip. The main thing to
pray about, other than the obvious, is that on the 15th (the day we
fly home) Chavez, the president of Venezuela, will be having a
referendum, where I think basically he's trying to change the
constitution to allow presidents to stay in office for an unlimited
number of terms. Needless to say, the whole country isn't on board
with this idea, so it could possibly get ugly.

book recommendation for "I Heard the Owl Call my Name" by Margaret Craven

2009-02-02T10:58:00.001-08:00

I was given this book for Christmas by my mother-in-law, Jennie
Lockie. (Yes, we have the same name, but she spells it with ie. The
really weird thing is that Tim's sister married a Dave, and my father-
in-law's name is Dave!) Anyway, this was a really interesting book.
(Thanks Jennie!) Especially as Tim and I are wondering about joining
InnerCHANGE, it was good to read a book that's basically the opposite
of The Poisonwood Bible. This books is an example of incarnational
ministry done well. It's also pretty short and a very easy read.
It's about a young vicar who's sent to live in a remote indian village
where life is difficult and death is common. The villagers are
suspicious of him at first, but he doesn't ask for special treatment
and really gives himself to the people of the village. As it turns
out, his Bishop sent him there not because the village needed him, but
because he needed the village, and at the end, he becomes acutely
aware of this. Here are a couple of quotes from it.

When the atheist teacher meets the vicar who has recently arrived in
the remote Indian village, he tells him that anyone who professes
Christianity must be incredibly naive. "The young vicar grinned and
agreed. There were two kinds of naivete, he said, quoting Schweitzer;
one not even aware of the problems, and another which has knocked on
all the doors of knowledge and knows man can explain little, and is
still willing to follow his convictions into the unknown. 'This takes
courage,' he said, and he thanked the teacher and returned to the
vicarage."

When they are watching the salmon die at the end of their upstream
struggle, an indian girl comments that the end of the swimmer is
sad. And the vicar replies, "But Keetah, it isn't. The whole life
of the swimmer is one of courage and adventure. All of it builds to
the climax and the end. When the swimmer dies he has spent himself
completely for the end for which he was made, and this is not
sadness. It is triumph."

The perks of being relocated in a slum eviction

2009-01-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

300 families that lived in a slum in cambodia were forcibly evicted last week by a multinational corporation (7NG). To get them to leave their houses, they were tear-gassed, and given no time to get their belonging out before their houses were bulldozed.

The irony was that they were in negotiations THE DAY BEFORE with 7NG who was working out a compensation settlement. You can see the video of the eviction/demolition here [http://blip.tv/file/1703016/]. I know about this because InnerCHANGE was trying to stop this from happening along with others in Cambodia. The writing below is from Chris Baker-Evens who has worked for the past 6 months to stop this from happening.

Whoever thought being evicted from their homes of 20 years or so was
hard luck should think again. The privatisation of the eviction
industry has taken the next step by offering a multi-layered
compensation package for the privileged few.

Those lucky enough to be evicted by 7NG will find themselves happily
housed in the privately owned 7NG village a mere 20 kilometers, or 40
minute, drive from central Phnom Penh.

This location is highly sought after by clientele hankering for a
simpler age, devoid of unnecessary mod-cons such as fresh running
water, electricity, sanitation, health care, education facilities and
work opportunities.

Did I say work opportunities? I speak amiss. For 7NG will kindly let
you rent a spacious market stall at the privately owned 7NG market.
And if you don't want to work there you can pay for the luxurious bus
service now in operation, and privately owned by, 7NG to Phnom Penh.

For those eager to know what promotional opportunities there are
within the 7NG philanthropic enterprise, a lucky few (hundred) may
well be chosen for the next community eviction as demolition experts,
recieving a generous daily stipend and all travel expenses paid.

If anyone thought that being evicted by 7NG was a dead-end they can be
sure that 7NG has their long-term future well taken care of.

That no community has ever asked to be evicted - nor even agree to
sell their land - be dislocated from family, friends, work, and school
should not matter. Nor even the mob-ish identity, or lack there of, of
7NG and company officers. Nor even that there is no street address to
send correspondence to, or protest in front of. We should not be
concerned that no reasonable attempt was made by the company or city
officials to sit down and listen to residents concern, nor accept
reasonable compensation demands. Any mediation and negotiations
efforts were top-down one-way affairs. And the rash of arrests,
intimidations, threats, court cases against residents. Not one case
brought by residents against 7NG has ever been heard.

Even Famous Musicians are ignored in Subways!

2009-01-29T11:49:00.001-08:00

This came via a friend of mine, and I wanted to pass it on... I love this kind of experiment!

A Quick Story
Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007.
He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
After 3 minutes a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes, a 3year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.
45 minutes, the musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32.
1 hour, he finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

Here's the link to the post article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

Something to read on MLK Day (well maybe a bit late)

2009-01-21T14:28:00.001-08:00

Hi Friends,

Jenny's aunt is a historian and sent me this letter after a
conversation she and I had about economics and slavery. It's such an
interesting piece of history that I wanted to send it to you on Martin
Luther King day as a way to remember the past. So, it's a bit late,
but since it was written in 1865, a few days won't matter. The letter
is both humorous and haunting, and it seems even more appropriate
given Obama's inauguration.

Jourdan's is the former slave that asks his old master to pay he and
his wife for 52 combined years of unpaid labor before he would
consider working for his former master again. His line "If you fail
to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in
your promises in the future" is a statement that speaks to the cost
we're still paying. I'm open to hearing any reactions you have from
it, by the way.

Peace,
tim

Rocketeering with John David

2009-01-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid I loved to make model rockets! I wasn't the nerdy
NASA kid that could name all the stars in the Orion nebula, but I
loved seeing something I made lift-off several hundred feet into the
sky. So, I'm passing that tradition on, and am headed out later today
to shoot off some rockets with John David and Alexina.

Apprenticeship Orientation 2008

2009-01-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

New apprentices In InnerCHANGE come to our orientation in San Francisco. Usually this happens in September, but this year, due to circumstances we hosted it in January (which is why it's Orientation 2008 even though it took place in 2009). This years group is older than past groups and are such a great group! Every time we host orientation I realize just how amazing the people I work with are.

Both those coming into InnerCHANGE, and the team that hosts these events. I worked on this event with Dorcas, Darren, and Ester (see picture with group of 4). Ester was an apprentice last year in Los Angeles, but this year she's living in Omaha and flying out a few times just to play event coordinator for us! Darren flew in from London, and Dorcas lives in LA.

The apprentices this year are:

Top: Beth, Marth, and Joel
Bottom: Mike, Grace and Kevin

Part of what makes InnerCHANGE a community is the
attention it pays to symbol and tradition. This is taken during the celebration and commissioning service for new apprentices. On the table is a team symbol for all the different teams in InnerCHANGE.

Epiphany!

2009-01-06T16:37:00.001-08:00

Our church celebrates epiphany together. One of the highlights is the
reading of the clam, a story written and read by mike Creeger who
assembles candy to accompany the story. (yeah, sounds strange, but a
great yrasitipm nonetheless!)

Settlers!

2008-12-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

Nothing better than a game of settlers with my dad and my brother!
It's one of my favorite things to do with my dad and brother (who both
cheat like crazy).

Christmast Tree or Manger?

2008-12-21T17:15:00.000-08:00

Because it doesn't seem to bug almost anyone else, I've put up with it for years, but this was the year that I finally paid attention to a whisper about the Christmas tree.

I know this will peg me as a fanatic, but I'm just not comfortable with presents under a tree. If the whole point is the birth of Jesus, why is there this enormous, fake (in our case), tree that we decorate. To drag religion into it, it's almost a contradiction to pile presents under a tree, when the original gift givers put them under a manger with a baby in it. (Well, that's actually very historically suspect, but it's less suspect than that they put them under some evergreen in the middle of Palestine). Really, it makes sense to my atheist friends, since there isn't a God, then Jesus certainly wasn't his son, and the holidays are the point, not a Christmas. But since we're not atheist it makes more sense for us to put a manger and baby at the center of the season.

So this year, we put out a manger, and left it empty until the 25th and we put presents under it. I know I'm risking coming off as hoity-toity here, so please hear this as a Lockie family experiment. The results I think were positive. Our kids liked it, I was comfortable with it, and it helped us remember that Christmas is when Jesus became a baby and God became a Dad. Anyway, I'm curious about what others think about this? Am I alone here, is it just me that thinks the Christmas tree is an odd tradition, or am I just a religious loony that takes symbols too seriously?

Jenny's Talk

2008-12-19T21:10:00.001-08:00

Memorial Service of Linda Griffin
June, 2008

As I've reflected on Linda's life, the thing that kept coming up in my mind over and over was that she was a lover. She loved deeply and profusely. But the question I kept getting stuck on was, "Where did that love come from? How was it possible for her to have so much love in her after all that she had been through? In spite of the pain and rejection that she had experienced as a child, and in spite of the darkness that those experiences forced her to walk through over and over, she was a lover. She loved with all her heart and with all her soul and with all her mind. She loved Bob. She loved Basia. She loved Esme Bo. She loved all of us, and, most of all, she loved God. But I still didn't understand where all the love came from. How could she find so much room for love in her soul after the pain she had been through and continued to experience? How could she love so deeply and hurt so deeply? And then I started to re-read a book that a friend had given me shortly after Linda was killed, (A Grace Disguised by Gerald L. Sittser) and I found the answer.

These are direct quotes that I've pieced together from chapter 3, "Darkness Closes In." They are sentences from different paragraphs throughout the chapter, but I think they flow together fairly well. The quote starts after the author describes a waking dream he had where he was trying to chase after the setting sun, desperate not to be enclosed by the ensuing darkness. Of course, it was a futile race, and he eventually gave up and was left in the darkness. Later it's pointed out to him that

"the quickest way for anyone to reach the sun and the light of day is not to run west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east, plunging into the darkness until one comes to the sunrise. I discovered in that moment that I had the power to choose the direction my life would head . . . I decided from that point on to walk into the darkness rather than to try to outrun it, to let my experience of loss take me on a journey wherever it would lead, and to allow myself to be transformed by my suffering . . . the experience of loss itself does not need to be the defining moment of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters as much as what happens in us."

Let me pause here to explain that when the author refers to "loss" he's referring not only to the loss of loved ones, but to all kinds of loss, including abuse, debilitating diseases, divorce, rape, infertility, even unemployment or the loss of a dream, so these words don't only speak to my question about how Linda could have so much love in her after going through so much pain, but they can also speak to all of us. I'll repeat the last couple sentences.

"the experience of loss itself does not need to be the defining moment of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters as much as what happens in us. I did not go through pain and come out the other side; instead, I lived in it and found within that pain the grace to survive and eventually grow. . . I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it. The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering. Loss can enlarge its capacity for anger, depression, despair, and anguish . . . once enlarged, the soul is also capable of experiencing greater joy, strength, peace, and love. . . Tragedy can increase the soul's capacity for darkness and light, for pleasure as well as for pain, for hope as well as for dejection. . . We can nurse wounds of having been cheated in life, or we can be grateful and joyful, even though there seems to be little reason for it. We can return evil for evil, or we can overcome evil with good. It is this power to choose that adds dignity to our humanity. . . "

These next sentences are about about prisoners in a concentration camp in WWII. "Some chose to believe in God in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. They chose to expect a good tomorrow, though there was little promise of one. They chose to love, however hateful the environment in which they lived."

"It is therefore not true that we become less through loss–unless we allow the loss to make us less . . . Loss can also make us more. In the darkness we can still find light. In death we can also find life. It depends on the choices we make. . . Not that the choices we make will always have happy results. When we plunge into darkness, it is darkness we experience. We feel pain, anguish, sorrow, and despair, and we experience the ugliness, meanness, and absurdity of life. We brood as well as hope, rage as well as surrender, doubt as well as believe. . . The choice to enter the darkness, then, does not lead us along an easy course. . . The choice to enter the darkness does not ensure that we ever completely come out the other side. I am not sure we can or should. . . I learned to live and mourn simultaneously.

After three years, I continue to live in that tension. But there is a significant difference now. The sorrow I feel has not disappeared, but it has been integrated into my life as a painful part of a healthy whole. Initially, my loss was so overwhelming to me that it was the dominant emotion I had. I felt like I was staring at the stump of a huge tree that had just been cut down in my backyard. That stump, which sat all alone, kept reminding me of the beloved tree that I had lost. I could think of nothing but that tree. Every time I looked out the window, all I could see was that stump. Eventually, however, I decided to do something about it. I landscaped my backyard, reclaiming it once again as my own. I decided to keep the stump there, since it was both too big and too precious to remove. Instead of getting rid of it, I worked around it. I planted shrubs, trees, flowers, and grass. I laid out a brick pathway and built two benches. Then I watched everything grow. Now, three years later, the stump remains, still reminding me of the beloved tree I lost. But the stump is surrounded by a beautiful garden of blooming flowers and growing trees and lush grass. Likewise, the sorrow I feel still remains, but I have tried to create a landscape around the loss so that what was once ugly is now an integral part of a larger, lovely whole. "

He ends the chapter by saying, "I knew that running from the darkness would only lead to greater darkness later on. I also knew that my soul had the capacity to grow–to absorb evil and good, to die and live again, to suffer abandonment and find God. In choosing to face the night, I took my first steps toward the sunrise."

I think Linda made that choice many years ago, and was faced with that choice over and over as she continued to heal from her past. She chose to love in spite of how the world had treated her and so she was blessed with the ability to love deeply, more deeply than those who haven't experienced deep pain are capable of.

And now it's our turn. It's our turn to love the other driver, as Bob is setting the example in. It's our turn to love the Griffin family as they live with this loss. And it's our turn to choose to love others who have hurt us in the past or who will surely hurt us in the future.

I want to close with one final quote from the same book. Gerald Sittser's wife was also killed by a drunk driver (along with his daughter and his mother), and his wife was also named Lynda (spelled with a Y), so this is a direct quote.

"Lynda was an unusual woman. She was gracious and energetic, simple and hospitable. She found joy in serving others, and she loved her children with all her heart. She worked hard from morning to evening, laughed far more than she cried, and delighted in ordinary life. She was good and guileless at the core of her being. I miss her as she was, not as I wished her to be."

Waiting for Arrivals

2008-11-30T10:25:00.000-08:00

Why does a story about Jesus start with his cousin John? Its a question that has always followed me... why is the story of John the Baptist so important in the story of Jesus?

The opening of Luke may provide a clue... when Zechariah goes into the temple and his prayer is heard, he begins a time of silent waiting. Waiting for the arrival of his son, which is an act against all odds. Israel is in a time of waiting too, for the messiah. And the time of waiting grows short as the arrival draws near.

Welcome to Advent - the wait for an arrival.

10 Years Today

2008-11-14T10:40:00.001-08:00

Today Jenny and I have been married for 10 years! Looking back I thought that it would be easier, honestly. Though it hasn't been easy it has been worth it. When we made vows to each other, I didn't pay much attention to the words. It wasn't until later, when it was harder and the wonder of it all had worn into a daily routine, that I started thinking about what our vows were, and what they meant.

I take you to have and to hold,
to love and to cherish,
for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
for better or for worse,
until death do us part.

These were just words at the ceremony, but I realize that they are impossible words. Words that commit me to something I'm unable to live out. There hasn't actually been a day that I've really lived out a full cherishing, or that I've been unflinchingly loving. But somehow this hasn't broken my vows, because even when I haven't been doing my best, I've still intended to, and somehow that counts too.

So, here's to Jenny, my bride and my love. And here's to many more decade celebrations of our marriage!

Looking More Like Alastair

2008-11-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

A good friend, Alastair Rundle (pictured with Zoe his daughter) has been undergoing treatment for Lymphoma. He's an amazing man: father of two, fantastic husband, fun loving, and just recently relocated to Los Angeles to work with the InnerCHANGE team.

I wanted to keep up with his hair style, so I joined him in his domed glory. Jenny isn't sure she likes it so much, but I'm loving it. Anyway, here's a shout out to read up on his blog and be praying for my friend Alastair.

Celebrating Marriage in the Dominican Republic!

2008-11-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

This November will be 10 years for Jenny and I, so to celebrate we headed down to the Dominican Republic for 10 days - no kids, no work, no dishes, no making beds! We had a super great time, and recommend the DR for anyone that's looking for a good vacation place.

Highlights from the Trip:

Speaking spanish
Being introduced to Bachata Music
Tim's smash karaoke hit "Heartbreak Hotel"
Cayo Levantado - a tiny island with a 5 star resort
Showing up to the 5 star resort in the back of a pickup that's used for public transportation.
Kayaking all the way around Cayo Levantado
Snorkeling and finding two live conches
Being married to each other

Check out the photos

Miami: Urban Resurrection

2008-10-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

After the CCDA conference (see last post) I got to hang out with the good folks at Urban Resurrection. They are a small team of missionaries living in The West Grove area of Miami. Micahel and Erika Philips and Laurie Cook are the official team, but with all the neighbors who stopped by, it felt like a large extended family. Truth be told, the team felt like we were visiting an InnerCHANGE team, from their casual style of being good neighbors and friends to a birthday party on the beach with a full drum circle, those of us visiting felt right at home.

CCDA

2008-10-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

(Christian Community Development Association) is a faith based network of people who work to empower lower-income communities. I've known of CCDA since the early 90's during my time in Billings Montana, but this was the first time that I'd attended their annual conference which was held in Miami. I was co-leading a workshop on the way being an order allows InnerCHANGE to sustain staff for the long run. Lyndy Rutledge and Jose Peñate-Aceves were the other presents for InnerCHANGE and we had a great time.

WHO SINNED

2008-10-09T05:29:00.000-07:00

The opening of Matthew 9 shows Jesus' disciples looking at a blind man and asking who sinned, the blind man or his parents. That can seem a bit weird to us that they'd see blindness as proof of sin, but it was clearly a Jewish assumption that physical defects were caused by sin.

Jesus tells his disciples that neither sinned, heals the man, and the crowd goes wild... not with excitement, but with a petty hullabaloo about the legality of healing on the sabbath.

No one in this passage expresses something positive about the fact that this man, born blind, could suddenly see. Including his parents. In fact they won't even back their son's story about who healed him because the pastors of their church would throw them out of the church (ok, it was pharisee's and it was a synagogue...).

What follows is astonishing. The Pharisees try to prove that the blind man wasn't ever blind, they cross examine his parents (who are too intimidated to talk), and eventually throw the man out of the synagogue. For being healed! Interestingly, the man had no say in being healed. Jesus has a conversation with his disciples and then just heals the guy and moves along. (The blind man doesn't even get a good look at Jesus cause he isn't able to see until he washes the mud out).

The Pharisees tell him: "This guy that healed you isn't from God, obviously, because he healed you on the sabbath." To which the blind man responds
33 [blind man] "If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”
34* To this they [pharisees] replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.

When a good thing happens to someone, not being glad for them is sinful.

Really what happens in this story is that the Pharisees see the blind man as an ISSUE, not a person. They see him as a sinner (from birth), and then they see his sight as a lawbreaker because they see Jesus' power as illegal if it involves making mud on the sabbath.

The beginning of the story starts with the question, "Who sinned that this man was born blind." and ends with Jesus saying that the sinning blind ones are the pharisees (who are so blind they don't even know they are blind).

The pharisees are so focused on issues that they bring a naked woman into the temple to force Jesus into a question on capital punishment. They don't care how humiliating it will be for the woman (guess they don't really care about how she feels cause they want to kill her anyway). And they are furious at cripple for being healed on the sabbath. I think that Jesus sees their focus on issues as a form of blindness.

Christians are prone to that same blindness we are tempted to see ISSUES instead of people. Of seeing gay people as THE HOMOSEXUAL ISSUE, undocumented immigrants as THE IMMIGRATION ISSUE because they crossed the border (which was made by stealing land from the original owners), homeless people as THE HOMELESS ISSUE instead of people with lives, skills, and a story worth listening to. Seeing ISSUES instead of people is just another form of self-righteousness, after all we don't usually like it when people see us as issues instead of people.

So when our first question is "Who sinned!" and not, "What does this person need" then we know we're in trouble.

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2008-01-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

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